Monday, December 17, 2007

I Am Legend

I am a critic who has a particular pet-peeve about films/movies using the titles from literary works with little or no similarity to said work. Just call it something else Warner Bros. You're not plagiarizing cause you wrote a completely different movie. Similarly, I wish comic book adaptations would follow suit and produce movies with a titling system similar to comic books themselves. For example, the recent run of Spiderman movies are not only not the only Spiderman movies ever made, but are also not cohesive with any specific spidey vein and should therefore have their own name (i.e. The Living Spiderman, or something less cheesey).

I digress

Will Smith did an amazing job with this role, and I was much displeased with my only way to express this with the words: "He displayed an intense array of emotional expression." He did though, and complimented with excellent directing, created an enjoyable movie experience (save the packed theatre with all the hooping and hollering that entails (okay dudes, I realize that Will is all ripped in this movie, but you don't have to express this out loud during a scene that is supposed to have emotional content)). Go see it, but don't call the movie I Am Legend in your head, and then expect to get any sort of similar story in the book. Then go read the book because it is way better then the film.

Plot- 2
Directing- 4
Acting- 4
Cinematography- 3
Gore- 1 (Its Will Smith (who never swears in case you don't know) its PG-13, however I didn't apprech the dog scene.... you'll know what I'm talking about)

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Trailer Park

Here are some trailers/posters for some films I'm definately going to see.... I can't guarantee they will be good, mainly because I like bad movies, but nevertheless....

Skinwalkers:



One Missed Call:


AVP: Requiem (trailer coming)


Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crustal Skull!!!! (no trailer yet)


and Finally

Hell Boy: The Golden Army

The Darjeeling Limited

Went to see Wes Anderson's new film last night: The Darjeeling Limited. Good stuff as always. In retrospect, it wasn't my favorite Wes film. On the other hand Natalie Portman was phenomenal. Well at least phenomenally hot as always (still not as hot as Bald Natalie in "V for Vendetta" tho). And Adrien Brody was really good, but he always is. One scene that stuck out in my mind as one of the more powerful moments in the film was when Owen Wilson was removing his bandages. If you saw it, you should remember. For some reason that scene itself exuded raw emotional content, with no dialogue. You gotta like that.

One other point that this film illuminated for me, was the creative imput of Wes' brother, Eric Chase Anderson. I had seen the name before, and remember him doing much of the illustrations/wallpaper for The Royal Tenenbaums, but the larger than life plug at the beginning of this film (for the wildlife luggage i think was his credit) really made me think about him and so I checked out his work this morning. In reality, I think it is more Eric's influence as set designer that gives Wes' films there general flavor. Granted music has a huge part to play, as well as cinematography, and dialogue not to leave that out of the loop, but those images we remember about Wes' films are usually marked by Eric's creative style...

Anyway, go see it if you haven't. And if you have seen TRT or Life Aquatic, go see those too.


Plot- 3
Directing- 4
Acting- 3
Cinematography- 4
Gore- n/a

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Hitman

Awesome. I've had such good luck with movies this week!

So this movie is based on one of the greatest video games around (same title). At first I wasn't so into Timothy Olyphant as agent 47, as I like the big guy, but he did a good job. Tim generally does a good job in his films, even if they are generally small parts (he was in Stop-loss too). I really liked this movie, even if Vin Diesel produced it and it had the directing style of Micheal Bay ("that's not being creative, that just special effects!!"). However I can't tell you if I liked it because I played the game so much or not. However my friend Gina liked it, and she didn't play it...

Regardless, this is a action movie on the caliber of most hitman style movies (except "The Professional" which is a total classic), so if you like that sort of thing, check it out!

Plot- 2
Directing- 3
Acting- 3
Cinematography- 2
Gore- 1 for murder

Pink Flamingo's

Just got John Waters' Pink Flamingo's.... omg, that movie was freakin awesome. Kitsch, vibrant, good music and hilarious to boot. Now, the movie is not for the feint of heart. There is loads of nudity, bestiality, animal abuse, violence, murder and general filthiness.

Why can't they make movies like this anymore? oh yeah... the mpaa. You know what? Fuck the MPAA. If you haven't seen "This Film Is Not Rated"...do it. It is an exposé on the totally bullshit that is the MPAA. For the lazy ones out there, a brief description. The MPAA exists under the guise of "rating" movies so that people can more accurately determine what movies they want to go see, emphasis on families going to see movies. However, the real effect of the rating system is to solidify the ties between motion picture corporations, and their revenue via ticket sales. They claim that the ratings don't affect the revenue of a film, however movies are shown in theatres that restrict which type of ratings they show and how much they show them. So movies companies will specifically write in a directors contract that it has to get a R or below rating, or they won't let them produce it, strictly because they know they won't make the money back due to limited release etc.... So basically the MPAA and the motion picture corporations have decided to determine the american people's taste in movies, and they have tricked everyone into believing that they're right! The worst part is that the major claim of the MPAA is to protect kids/families as well as represent the "american moviegoer", since they limit who at what age is allowed to see the films, yet they are mostly cristain and single, some not even american?!? arrghhh.... Actually, the worst part is that the MPAA is entirely a private company that limits the "free speech"of film artists in the states (which in case you didn't know, doesn't truly exist) in a totally sleezey way.

Regardless, a movie like this will never be made in this country again unless it is an independent film, and not like as in warnerbros independent, but get your camera and lets go shoot independent.


Plot- 4
Directing- 4
Acting- 3
Cinematography- 3
Gore- 3 for killing a chicken in a sex scene

ps. anyone want to get my camera and go shoot?

Monday, December 3, 2007

Futurama: Bender's Big Score *spoilers*

ugghhh... It sucks when a reasonably good show is canceled, and then comes back with a weak attempt at movie entertainment. Okay, maybe a little harsh, but this flick doesn't even compare to the original show. The first hour is pretty close (with the occasionally terrible song), but the last half an hour is just terrible, with frequent terrible songs.

The original writers obviously weren't around for this one, as the story is mostly crap. I'm glad that they included a story line that detailed Fry and Leela's relationship, as that was key to the show and left vague at the end of the series (specifically in the last episode), even though left open ended again. However, the killer for me was the crappy songs. Matt Groenig's crew is renowned for their hilarious musical style song writing, which was horribly besmirched in the recent film. Horrible tunes + bad lyrics + short length = no beuno. Thank your goddess the movie was direct to dvd, and hence free thanks to Grants rental =O

Plot- 2
Directing- 1
Acting- 2
Cinematography- 2
Gore- 2 for animated violence

Beowulf 3D

Remember the red and blue specs for 3-D back in the day. When I was little I used to wear mine around all day, which is why my eyes are all fucked up now. Regardless 3-D technology has changed quite dramatically since then, now featuring polarized films which lack colour tint. I predict that polarized 3-D technology will soon make its way into our houses (hopefully a video game console will wise up!).

The film: Good stuff in general. Angelina naked, 3-D action, cgi ridiculousness... What else can you ask for? If you're into computer graphics, then that alone is enough reason to check out the film. I peed just a little during it the film it was so beautiful... As far as action movie go, it was pretty run of the mill, so if cgi doesn't impress you, think twice....


Plot- 3
Directing- 3
Acting- 3
Cinematography- 4
Gore- 1 for lite animated violence

Friday, November 16, 2007

Stop-Loss

I went to see an advanced screening of Kimberly Peirce's new film "Stop-Loss" last night. Again Kim did a terrific job portraying a real life issue that can hit close to home for a lot of people. I personally wasn't moved emotionally most likely due to my knowledge on the subject and my disagreements with "why we fight." However I was the odd one out in this instance as many people at the screening were in fact moved.

Stop-Loss is a financial term co-opted by the government during Vietnam, which is a policy whereby enlisted service people can be kept in active duty up to six months "after the war is over." So in particular with the case of the Iraqi incursion, men and women are forced to fight long past their contracted or even normal tour, to fight in a foreign country for years after the official "war" was declared over (Dubya said it was over in 2003 right?). In the case of "the War Against Terror" or even at home with the "War Against Drugs" that could mean the rest of your life. According to Kim's research, some service peoples contracts for temporary service (non-career troops) were up to 26 years!

Ryan Phillippe was pretty amazing, paralleled by equally great acting from Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Channing Tatum. The thing that really struck me was the realism the film portrayed. I've watched a lot of the home movies coming out of Iraq from the troops over there, often only days before getting pulled from youtube.com or other sources. Kim was able to recreate not only the feel of Iraq, but the sentiments of the troops by working directly with them on this project.

This is definitely one of those films you either like or you don't, so before seeing it I would evaluate whether or not your comfortable with the subject matter or not. You'll also have to wait until March. =P

Plot- 3
Directing- 4
Acting- 5
Cinematography- 4
Gore-3 for gunning/fragging multiple children/civilians

ps. Just a word to anyone who has the opportunity to see a screening with the director, it is totally disrespectful to get up and leave at the end when there is a Q&A session afterwards. It's like if you took someone out to diner and they just sat there, ate the food you paid for, and got up and left with out saying anything. At least if you hated it so bad that you have to leave during the middle, tell them on you way out or something...

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

American Gangsta


Denzel does it again....sort of. Has anyone else noticed Denzel slipping into a funk. Like he characters are portrayed fantastically, but similar. I won't pigeon hole him into the same catagory as Costner *blah*...sorry I just puked a little, but seriously!
The movie was pretty good, only made worse by Russell Crowe.... oh god I just puked again... Russel continues to fight around the world, only this time in Brooklyn. I don't know what it is about this guy that makes me so sick....any ideas?
The story is a "based on a true story"+ New York+ BS formula that lasted nearly three hours. It was good, but not up to par with A Bronx Tale or Carlito's Way .
Anyway, I will probably own this one when it comes out, but I definitely slept through scenes too. Hey, it was late on a Sunday night, beat it.....

Plot- 3
Directing- 4
Acting- 4
Cinematography- 2
Gore-1 for a dude getting shoot in the dome

I like to Read Too

I think I will open up this unread blog to include other reviews/opinions of anything art or entertainment. So without further ado....

"The Player of Games" -by Iain Banks

This book is terrific. It is technically "sci-fi" however I feel that genre is another bullshit genre. Pretty much if it has space, robots, future or hi-tech its sci-fi? This book was much more of an exploration into the realm of social analysis then a story about aliens.
This is one of Iain's Culture Series, which explore the reality of people living in a interstellar association/regime. In the Culture, no one gets sick, everyone is genetically mastered so that as long as your head survives, you can grow a new body. That includes swapping sexes mid life. Of course, there is more then meets the eye to the Culture, as it aims to wipe out "barbarism" through out the known universe.
Iain is regarded as the greatest living author in Britain. I think he is pretty good, however I don't read enough from Britain to support this assertion. Next on my list from him "The Wasp Factory"

Plot- 5
Writing- 4
Dialogue- 5

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Preview!

So I would like to take this moment to post a trailer for a flick I saw last night. The movie is called "One Missed Call", and is in my opinion, one of the better Japanese horror flicks to be made in the last five years. The original is a must see! I can't gush over it enough.
However, the american version is going to have Shannyn Sossamon starring (even though iMDB has some dude at the top of the list... pricks).


Oh Shannyn, how I love thee! Let me count the ways.....

Trailer:

30 Days of Night

This movie was surprisingly good. It was definitely a edge of your seat style of thriller, with loads of blurry people jumping out from the corner of the screen, etc... In case you haven't seen a preview, the movie follows a small town, the northern most american town in Alaska, which experiences an entire month of no sun each year. This town is the target of some...not so human attackers. The plot is pretty bad, but then again how complex are most vampyre movies?
The real shocker was Josh Hartnett. I haven't really seen a movie where I liked him, even though I'll watch "40 Days and 40 Nights" for Shannyn Sossamon any day. Oh Shannyn.... Melissa George was in this flick too, and she is extremely hot, even though her accent in this movie isn't. If your not down to loose your popcorn in the theatre, this is definitely worth renting....and turning out the lights. However these types of movies tend to loose their thriller value in the safety of your own home.

Plot- 2
Directing- 3
Acting- 3
Cinematography- 4
Gore- 3 for decapitation

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Interlude - Movies and Reality

So I would like to take this moment to have a break from critiques, and just talk movies. I will do this from time to time, feel free to join in discussion. Crank has made me re-evaluate the way I think about movies. Ever since I was a small kid, when I saw live action movies that were filmed as if the existed in real life, I treated them as such. Let me reiterate: Live action films, with real actors, set in real places should behave as if they are in the real world. However, this recent movie, and many I can think of, made me rethink this. Why can't a realistic movie, still exist in the realm of fantasy. It can, and thats what I've decided on.
Don't get me wrong, I love fantasy movies set in crazy places with crazy people, but with those it was easy for me to jump to a fantasy world and forgive them for their transgressions against reality....and physics. Now I have to apply this to real world movies. Even if I have to grit my teeth when they never re-load their guns, or accend 33,000 feet in 20 seconds, or blow stuff up just to have it in the background of the next scene. No one is perfect, and there are tons of people in Hollywood, so movies should have tons of imperfections to...right?

I'm not taking back my review of Crank. That movie sucked.

Crank

!Contains Spoilers!
So this movie is the reason for this blog, because I had to publish my opinion of how rubbish this was to watch. First off, there is no plot. I know what you may be thinking, you one of a million people who loved this shit, but trying to kill a guy for poisoning you isn't a plot, it is a thematic device, which is part of a plot. That wasn't the worst part of the movie however, theres more. Much More. The movie stars Jason Statham, who I absolutely was a fan of, until seeing this movie.

So this movie creates a world with completely make-beleive physics, features a made up society, and pretty much lives in its own craziness. Two scenes are the most disturbing to me for different reason which I will explain:

The "love" scene: Okay, first off, the idea that women want to be raped, ie that no means yes, has permanently harmed the psyche of human existence on this planet. This scene involves the main character forcing himself on his girlfriend in the middle of Chinatown, surrounded by gawking on lookers. At no point does anyone try and stop this (which I beleive someone would) for either the rape aspect, or the public indecency aspect. Of course she gets into it and by the end she's getting railed from behind, gripping a newspaper stand with everyone cheering for the guy. I seriously thought he'd wake up from some drug trip to find out none of it happened. Which would have made more sense, but alas...

The Final Scene: All I have to say is that one moment the helicopter is avoiding downtown L.A. skyscrapers, and within seconds the main character is falling out of said helicopter at roughing 35,000 feet. Which gives him long enough time to a) strangle bad guy, b) quite reflection, c) phone his girlfriend to apologize for dieing, d) more reflection and finally d) bouncing off car downtown just to live some more...

Suffice it to say I wish I wouldn't have seen it, but if you liked Transformers, I highly recommend it. Next week: I rip on Transformers....j/p


Plot- ?
Directing- 1
Acting- 2
Cinematography- 2

Aimée & Jaguar

This film is great. I picked this one to start off the site specifically because it is great, and recently a new addition to my favorite movie list. The movie is set during World War II, and is an odd but moving love story. I say odd because the situation surrounding it and they way the characters interact is full of tension. So I guess it is a pretty normal love, which is odd for movies. The plot is fairly dry, love during war, but this is made up for by seriously amazing acting on the part of Juliane Köhler (Aimée), equally reciprocated by Maria Schrader (Jaguar). Of course there is some added tension that I will allow you to discover for your own.

So you can find this film in the foreign or German sections of your nearest movie rental, unless you rent from Blockbuster. Just kidding, they probably have it, I wouldn't know really. I bring up the foreign thing just to get this out of the way on the first blog, but I dislike the term foreign as a category. This movie is a romantic drama, which just happens to have been made outside of the U.S., has subtitles and is therefore relegated to the milieu of "foreign".

This movie has heavy lesbian themes, so if you are homophobic, go walk of a cliff and save us the trouble. Awww....no just kidding, but really, get some class. Love is love, and this story is going to go down as a classic.

Plot- 3
Directing- 4
Acting- 5
Cinematography-4